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This time of the year, it gets dark around 4. My day cut short, and my nights lasting till sunrise. Weekends, my skin is kept in bed, beneath thin sheets, if that, and warm breath. Nights, turn to weeks, turn to months now... and I think I've finally defeated every wall preventing him from all of me, the part he really wants, beneath my newly healed, but once bruised ribs.
Its cold here.
Up to 50's in LI. The scattered snow patterns on my lawn was a big enough blanket to help me forget about the slush from the nearby ocean. Then snowed it, I drink coffee on the couch with a sweater. Bare trees, neighborhoods, and a significant amount of green. The red of her collar is ruby. Colors here, colors real. Air, pure. I left the place I love, and I'm here in the place I used to be afraid of.
I woke up this morning, its my third day here- hours are escaping (a month feels much too short after being filled to the brim with calmness and comfortability) Dawn light shines through the windows, but its cloudy and the snow doesn't have much to reflect. I fill my glass cup of water; my stomach still full of alcohol: red wine. I look around, and christmas lights keep it easy on the eyes, and warm on your insides. My baby is downstairs, waiting for me to keep him warm again. I've fallen in love. And I've fallen to peace and appreciation for the short distance between our town borders.
Philipp goes home, but I'll see him soon enough. Iced Coffee, eggs, and bacon with those I spent my summer with. No meat for me, I am a vegetarian now, at least I have been for a month. Meals last hours with us around the table. Its hard to think that I've been without these people for about four months, so we act like it never happened and enjoy the short time we have left.
Already making excuses to see each other, how can I deny such a warm feeling during the holiday season. We fit, and it fits. I believe in him, cause I believe in God.
I'm in bed now, but another night of good vibes ahead. I haven't scheduled any work yet, after working almost everyday over my ten-day thanksgiving break, then a rigorous study schedule the last three weeks at SBU, I'm taking at least a week off. (Still waiting for my grades back... I've never worked so hard in my life)
As for now, I am hoping this vacation doesn't disappear as quickly as first semester did. I'm surprised at how much I love being home, but I'm not complaining :)
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